It started off normal,but now I'm numb.My mind just won't work,keeps going over and ove today.
Guy.
The one person I've truely loved.A brother to me,not an agent or pgotographer or my mom.
I have to right this down,its the only ay to keep mself sane. Get it out in te open.
"Its just that your a little hefty for this shoot."Artur explained, and I swear I felt like punching him
I'm an inch from a size zero,and being cautioned by my doctor,and he's telling me to lose more weight.
Grrrrrr!
I stood,and shook my head."Look pal,you won't find anyone with the legal documentaion this close to the shoot date."I put my palms on the desk,leaning so that he would probably see down my dress.No bother,most guys try to cop a look."I can assure you that you will be calling me in the next two days I hear your voice,so I will see you then."
I turned in my three inch heels and marc out of that office, and made my way down stairs.It hurts to be critisised at times,but I've gotten used to it.
Hell,being tough was important,my mom tauaght me that.She'd spent her life as a low paid glamour model,perfrume ads and such.She wants something better for me.Even if it means I get a little unhealthy.Even if it ment I didn't have all that many freinds.
But I can take it,cuz I've got a few freinds who I love.So that means I can go and get wht I want,when I want it.
And I want it too.After all,what more is there to want.
Fame,fortune and nice cloths.
i want it, and I will get it.
And he wil call me.
Its illegal for models to be given permits after enterring te country,and he'll have a hell of a hard time finding a young blonde girl of his specifications.I'm the best in my age bracket and in his price range.
I love cabs.Love them.
I begin moaning about the agency to the driver.the driver I get is usualy a nice guy called guy.He works at the agency I've used since I was six.He's twenty seven now,ad still had the grin of a boy.
He's also my best freind.He has a face taht maks you think of a puppy. A twinkly note in his voie. He like being a cab driver.He made his own hours and got tipss for being freindly.
Thick blond hair that was always half hidden thought e glass because of his dsplayed licese and picture.Possibly the funniest guy on earth.
Guy kept a picturee of me and him last new years on his dash,next to the one ofhis girlfreind,Carla. He told me what he thought of the jerks who turn me down,and every christmas and birthday I got a card and a cheap bottle of exspensive perfrume.He had freinds who worked on the docks.Guy barely frowns,or shuts up.Which is why I was worried.
Today he was quiet.And pale.
Extremly pale.His usual tan is faded.I tap on the partition and he grunts.
I tap harder and say his name. He jerks,and turns to look at me.
My body freezes,and my eyes are locke don is face.
Or whats left of it.
His left eye was gone.So was most of te skull.I can see the greyness of the brain.The blood was clumping on his shirt.Bile rises in my throat. I vomitted all the small brunch I'd had.
Dead.
Undeinably dead.
Guy tilted his head like a dog, and his mouth twitched.A smile.He was trying to smile. A noise rumbled in his throat, and his mouth formed a word.Unmistakeable.
Angel.
He remembered me,but then his brow wrinkled.
He turned around and his hand came up,reached and grazed the picture.
I pull back and lean against the back of the seat,the sent of sick reaching my nose.I notice he's driving towards my home,and when he stos,I don't get out.I see my neighbour, and managed to get him to look at Guy,get him to call an ambulance.I had a feeling if I got out the car he'd drive off.
He turned to look at me again,and I heard the partion come down.Tears ll, I couldn't stop crying.Sobs racked me as he reached out,and that hand toched my cheek.
I coldn't move. Could barely catch my breat.
The hand was cold.Clammy and cold.He mouthed my name with a grunt. I knew it was guy,Sweet kind guy who bought me perfrume and let me tell im secrets,who'd kssed my cheek at midnight and who had conjoled me when things went bad.
And he was dead, and comforting me still.I didn't hear the sirens,and saw the paramedics.
Guy wouldn't go,put up a fight,kept petting my cheek and head, so I went to.
I'm writng on my phone from the morgue.Guy is stting on the slab,occasional looking up at me and smiling that smile.That boyish smile that makes heart,But it seems differnt somehow.Theres just not that spark of life.
I'm looking at him,and outside the press is clamouring to get a picture, or a cooment.
The paramedics had found no heart beat.No brain activity.No lungs inflating.Those grunts were inexplicalble.
My Guy is dead,but still caring about me.Still moving,still looking at me,still trying to say my name.
He's just stood,trying to come to me,because I'm crying again.
The attendent doesn't stop him.He's siting next to me,and his face no longer makes my somach turn.He's still got that smile,and his cold hand puts an arm around me.
H's so cold.but its Guy.Its comfort.The attendent looks scaired.Iim leanign into him now.
He might be dead,but I need this.I can't leave him.Not now.I can't.
Gu.I wisper his name.The attendant is telling me its not hygenic,that the police wouldn't allow it.That the FBI could quantine me along with him.
Let them.
Fucking let them.